Beware, essence at work

I am supposed to be sleeping in my daughter’s guest room but here I am, wide awake in the middle of the night. Although I often have a wakeful period this is an extreme case. I feel like I could start my day. Or even . . . write. It is 2 50 a.m. I think I have to blame the essence I snuck before going to bed.

Explain “essence.” You may be familiar with Bach Flower Essences. That is sort of the commercialized version. Essences are the distilled energies of plants and places that contain particular qualities those beings are willing to share with people. This bedroom recently became a storage place for several hundred little blue bottles of essences, gathered by a gifted Ann Arbor herbalist, which my daughter and son-in-law use in their practices for healing and guidance.

I have slept in this room before and it feels different since the essences have been brought here. It feels a little zingy, vibrant. My first night here I slept really, really well. Then last night before I went to bed I randomly chose an essence and swallowed a few drops. Randomly, but I think the choice of essences is never entirely random. They present themselves. One has the sense that they are allies, offering help.

My selection was December Primrose: “goals, vision.”  I can use that. I’ve been a little aimless recently, starting things and not finishing them. I have new enthusiasms (like this blog) but I don’t trust them. I’m afraid I’ll lose heart. One of my new enthusiasms is online writing courses. I’m on my second and I paid serious money for this one so I feel like something should come of it, but I’m doing it mostly to keep myself going until I figure out whether I want to start a bigger writing project and if so, what. I love these 500-word blog chats. Maybe this is it. Maybe not. I’m playing with writing and that feels good. Not so serious. Really, “goals” are perhaps too serious for me right now but nevertheless, the December Primrose presented itself.

So what happened was I dreamed that the semester had ended at the end of last year and here it was, April, and I was still trying to finish the final paper for a course. I was determined to do it but it was one of those dream-tasks that is impossible to accomplish while you are asleep so of course it is very frustrating and you just can’t get the dream finished. This is what woke me up at 2 30. Thanks a lot.

I have not remembered dreams in weeks though I’ve had a sense that I’ve been dreaming things I’d rather not remember. And this dream seemed like it gathered the sense of those dreams and made it so clear that I can’t help remembering. Yes, I’m overdue as a writer. Running out of time to be a serious writer if that’s what I want to be. I’m not sure I do.

What’s the message of the dream and should I heed it?

I don’t need to wonder about that because as soon as I woke and rehearsed the dream, I got an idea for a longer piece that I want to write. That is what popped me wide awake at 2:30 a.m. So yes, thank you, December Primrose. I now have a goal.