Misery v. wellbeing

The security line at the airport is longer than I have seen it since the early post-9/11 days. And yet everybody seems calm and patient, no restless neck-craning to see how far we have to go, no line-budging. We’ve gotten used to the routine, even when it’s worse than usual. Long lines no longer  push people into instant anxiety and frustration.

There is a fine line between misery and wellbeing and we cross it numerous times in a day, no matter what our circumstances. I woke this morning in misery. I expected to sleep till 6:30 or 7 but a previous occupant of the guest room where we were staying had set the alarm for 5:30. Vic jumped up and squelched Morning Edition but 10 minutes later the news was back on. And 10 minutes after that. It was a sophisticated new clock radio and the settings were not easy to figure out, especially for the sleep-deprived. I finally got up at 6, showered, dressed and then sat, unable to move. Miserable.

We had spent much of the previous evening at a sports bar, watching the Bulls v. Heat in game 4. This was a first for me, watching a whole game at a sports bar, but there really was nowhere else to watch the game since we were away from home.

At first it was fun, the beer, the greasy fries, the noise of the fans around us. The Bulls were missing their outside shots and getting the short end of the officiating but still it was close, the lead would spurt in one direction and then the other.

After a while, though, the beer, the greasy fries, the noise, and the missed shots made me absolutely miserable. I wanted to get out of there but I was trapped by my own need to see the outcome. The 4^th quarter was l-o-o-ong. And ended in another missed shot and a tie. How could we sit through another 15 minutes of this?

The overtime began with more missed shots. Miami was up by three. Vic and I looked at each other. “Shall we leave?” Vic asked. I breathed a sigh of relief and we escaped. Minutes later we were in our friend’s lovely guest room and went immediately to sleep. (The Bulls, indeed, lost.)

This morning the misery of waking too early disappeared after three sips of a Vente Awake tea (two bags). I’ve been luxuriating in wellbeing ever since. On the way to the airport we watched someone else’s morning get ruined—a left turn across two lanes became a fender-bender with a car coming too fast in the apparently empty second lane.

The four-year-old boy ahead of us in the security line handles the wait with aplomb. A 3-month-old baby rubs his eyes and begins squawking, crossing the line from wellbeing to misery. I come through the scanner and panic for a moment. Have I lost my husband? He was right behind me! 

We find each other and all is well again. A different line had swallowed him and spit him out at another exit.

I think of the millions of people in the world who live in apparent abject misery most of the time but still find moments of wellbeing. May we be grateful for the wellbeing that is accessible to us and help others find their way across the line.